1.9 Lots of lovely feelings...

Today as I watched two other people join hands together in a lasting commitment as marriage I drew hope in the fact that one day Richard and I would be doing that very thing. Do I long for that day to be in a week? Yes. Have I managed to understand it is God's willing that it not be then, but instead for a better day? Yes. I know God will work new beginnings in Rich and I's relationship. That we will grow a stronger bond through this. I mean, we've already gone past the biggest part in all of this, and that was actually accepting the decision for the wedding to be postponed. I have definitely put my trust back in Richard to hold up his promise to me and to himself to work on his walk with You. I pray so hard that he continues to work on it and does not let You fall by the wayside again Lord. I cannot let my heart be broken again and do not want all of my efforst to be in vain Lord. I pray that You will in the end bless Rich and I with a beautiful, God-fearing marriage in the end. I am settled on whenever that may be Lord. I just want Richard to prove that he can do this. That he can be a godly man. I love him so much Lord and I feel a closeness growing like I haven't felt since things had turned dark when the wedding postponement was brewing. With all of that fiasco behind me, I feel confident to move forward. Most definitely after June 27th I will feel even more confident to move forward. God, I pray that June 27th will not be a bad day Lord. As it may not be meant to be a day where Rich and I become one anymore, I still feel it is meant to be special. A special reminder that we can go forward from this and that by obeying you God we can truly be blessed with a special gift of a full marriage in the future.