1.6 Totally Encouraged and Uplifted :)

Wow, tonight was awesome! I was a bit nervous though when I first got there, because I had known only a couple of the women there. I thought that maybe someone would eventually see my shyness and come introduce themselves to me, and it turns out the girl who did was one of the girls who shared their testimony. Tatum is a total blessing God and I am so thankful that I had the opportunity tonight to hear her pour her heart out and what You have done in her life and the lives of her family! As I listened to her speak, I felt like there had been so much in common between our two lives. For one, like her I also struggle with perfecting everything in my life and having to have control in every aspect. I have really learned A LOT these past couple weeks on how I cannot have control over my life, because it is not my own. You bought it at a high price God when You died on that cross. I cannot simply live my life for you and still try to control every part of it. I especially slip up in this when ever there are trials going on in my life or in Richards. I have to learn to just completely drop all strings attached to the issue and just run to You, and ask for your guidance in the trial and to lead me throughout it. I must spend time before my day begins everyday asking for your comfort and guidance throughout the day. Also to simply remind myself everyday that I am not my own, but that You have purchased me at a very high price and so I must submit myself humbly to your wisdom and teaching. Something that Maryn reminded me of tonight is that whenever I think I can handle a situation, I must recheck myself and make sure that I am not trying to do it all on my own strength. Also, that I must have the right motivation and heart when going into decisions. When I accept something is going to happen, I must have a heart that knows I cannot change what will happen as well as just knowing You are changing it for a reason that will make my life more fruitful in the future! This dance performance is not the most important thing in my life and I understand now that You are trying to teach me that my motivations were in the wrong thing by thinking that it was unfair that I could not perform there and trying to be angry about it while trying to accept it ultimately. I am doing something much more important and that is supporting the man in my life who I know You will change God. I must show growth in You Lord towards Richard to see that he will grow God. It will make things much easier in the future if I just work on seeing through Your eyes Lord.
Well, I best be getting to bed if I am going to be rested for my final tomorrow morning! Love You Lord! Goodnight!